When Shame Masquerades as Motivation

Not to punish, but to reconnect, with strength, with stillness, with ourselves.

I finally did it. I watched that Biggest Loser documentary everyone’s been talking about.

And no, there weren’t any big revelations for me, because I stay up on this stuff. But there were a lot of reminders.

Reminders that:

• Weight is often a symptom, not the root issue.
• More shame, more stigma, more yelling is not the fix.
• Real change doesn’t come from abuse disguised as motivation.

We move. We push. We pride ourselves on long days, double workouts, early laps, trail miles, big sends, and strong bodies. We wear “fit” like a badge, like proof of effort, discipline, worth.

But here’s the thing no one really says out loud:

For all our access to wellness, adventure, and community…
There’s still a lot of judgment here.
Especially when it comes to bodies.

It’s subtle, but it’s real.
And it comes from a place of privilege.
Because if you’re not “in shape,” people notice. And they make assumptions.

You’re lazy.
You don’t care.
You must not be “one of us.”

But what if that story is wrong?

I’ve been coaching long enough to know the science.
But because I needed to sit with it, the discomfort, the shame, the narrative. That show always felt like watching a crash reel to me (which if you know me, you know I do not like crash reels.)

And honestly, it reminded me how easy it is, even in our little wellness bubbles, to forget what health actually means.

Not weight loss.
Not punishment.
Not earning your value through exhaustion.

But healing. Empathy. Support. Self-trust.

Some of us didn’t learn to love movement as kids.
We learned to perform.
To please.
To control.

Some of us didn’t overeat out of apathy.
We used food to survive, to self-soothe, to feel okay for one moment in a chaotic life.

Some of us didn’t “fail” at staying thin.
We were navigating trauma.
Or caring for others.
Or doing our best in systems not designed for us.

And while so many people can be obsessed with being fit, and with performance, we miss the truth that so many others are just trying to feel safe in their own bodies.

So no, weight isn’t the problem. Shame is.

The stigma.
The assumptions.
The belief that transformation has to come from being broken down.

• You don’t have to be lean to be respected.
• You don’t have to be pushed to your limit to grow.
• You don’t have to “look like an athlete” to be strong, capable, or worthy.

There is no finish line where self-worth finally arrives.
There is just this moment, this choice, to treat yourself like someone who matters.

Not someday.
Now.

Health is not a competition.
Fitness is not morality.
And movement, doesn’t belong to one body type.

You don’t need to shrink to take up space on a trail.
You don’t need to be punished into motivation.
You don’t need to hustle for your worth.

You just need a soft place to land.
And maybe someone who sees you, beyond the surface.

If that’s what you’re craving, you’re not alone.
I’m doing this work too. With my clients. With myself. With this community.
And I’m here for the ones who want a new story.

One where health doesn’t mean harder. Where change doesn’t mean shame. Where movement becomes something you do for yourself, not to yourself.

With love and strength,

Coach Christine
NBHWC-Certified Health Coach | Summit Stronger

P.S. If this resonates, let’s talk. Or send this to someone in your life who deserves more grace, more context, and more compassion.