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Have you ever felt held back by fear? Fear is one of our most primal instincts. We are born with it, but we also learn fear. Picture this, you are a child, and your Mom has told you time and time again not to touch the stove because it’s HOT. So you develop a healthy fear of touching the stove, especially when she is cooking because you learned from her that it is hot and can hurt you. Or, perhaps you learned first hand. Maybe you are like me, and you had to find out for yourself. Welp, suspicion proved true, OUCH the stove is hot. The fear is there because our brain wants to protect us from injury or death, that could cause us to not survive, thrive, and carry on our species. BUT, fear can turn irrational.
If you experience the same eversion to doing things outside of your comfort zone that could benefit your health, wellness, and fitness, it can become a real problem. Maybe you have fear around going to the gym, or maybe you have fear around eating more vegetables. Maybe you don’t even recognize what is holding you back as fear. There is a behavioral analogy called the rider and the elephant, you can learn more about it here: https://vimeo.com/100349352 . We need to help our elephant (emotional brain) move towards our desired goals but it is held back by any number of fears, our rider (rational brain) can help by creating a plan and clearing the path.
For my clients who are bumping up against fears, known or unknown, I like to play a little game called, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”. You can play this game too, by writing out your the outcome you are resisting, digging into the fears behind it and letting your rational brain talk some sense into you. For example (from a real client in my 6W2S group) if you want to play more recreational sports because you know you enjoy it and you will get exercise while having fun, but you are being held back by the time commitment. Ask yourself, what is the worst possible thing that could happen when I sign up knowing my time concern? My hypothetical “elephant” answer is: Well if I sign up the worst thing that could happen around that concern is I don’t prioritize it and I never show up, then I would be out money, and my team might be disappointed in me. My “rider” answers: Well that’s silly, if you sign up, especially if you pay you will likely make it to at least SOME games, and you will probably have fun and get some exercise too! Well the benefits definitely out-ways the risk, and you won’t die! OK I’m IN!
OK it’s your turn. Write down a fear or two and let your elephant and your rider talk it out. Can you get your elephant to feel more safe to move towards your goals, by showing them the path (plan) and problem solving some of those obstacles? Yes! You can. It’s not a perfect process, it needs to be confidence tested and analyzed along the way. The path may need to be altered and new obstacles may come up along the way, but that is life, and if you look at these obstacles as speed bumps not road blocks, anything is possible.
This is what I help my clients do every day. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, if it helped you, if you want to dive deeper? Give me a shout. If you want to have someone to help you with the plan, figure out how to overcome obstacles, confidence test, analyze and re-direct, I’d love to help you! Use this link to schedule your courtesy coaching discovery call: https://calendly.com/coachchristineb/discovery-call
Best,
Christine Bettera
PN L2 Master Coach + ACSM CPT
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